Toxic positivity - what it is and why it is dangerous for humans

Toxic positivity - what it is and why it is dangerous for humans

Motivational slogans about how to be happy and advice on how to stay well, even if we lose our jobs, are pouring out of the media and social networks. But suppressing negative emotions - technically toxic positivity - is just as dangerous for our bodies as, for example, falling into depression or anxiety. What does a diagnosis of toxic positivity entail, how is it dangerous for us, and how can we combat it?

WHAT IS TOXIC POSITIVITY

Optimism is undoubtedly a great approach to life.  However, when positivity becomes programmatic and serves to silence a particular self experience or emotional response to an unpleasant situation, it becomes toxic. We speak of toxic positivity when a person begins to consider positive emotions more important than negative ones, which he or she considers irrefutably inappropriate and seeks to suppress.

Toxic positivity carries with it a strong belief that we will overcome any obstacle or trial in life by remaining positive at all times, to the extent that we completely eliminate the feelings and emotional reactions that are natural to the situation.

SYMPTOMS OF TOXIC POSITIVITY

Toxic positivity can take many forms. We can recognise it, for example, in the behaviour of a colleague who never admits that her family is not perfect or in the behaviour of an influencer who posts three times a day on social media about her positive vibes.

Here are some examples by which toxic positivity can be identified, either in yourself or in your loved ones:

Feeling guilty for negative emotions.

The need to appear outwardly happy at all times.

Perfect masking of true feelings.

The need to handle every situation with a smile.

Deflecting, putting down or ridiculing serious situations.

Exalting oneself above people who outwardly express frustration or any other non-positive reactions.

The need to dispense advice to those around you such as: it could be worse, life is too short to be angry, be grateful for everything, etc. instead of actually discussing with them what is bothering them.                            

Negative emotions are natural

Despite the fact that emotions like getting angry, jealous, upset or even crying don't look good on the outside and don't get many likes, they are a natural reaction to certain situations and venting them is pronounced healthy for us.            

Why toxic positivity is dangerous?

No one wants to be seen as a morose or crybaby among friends.  But there is a fundamental difference between life optimism and toxic positivity.  An optimist vents his emotions but takes a certain - usually positive - attitude towards them, whereas a person with toxic positivity bottles them up.

Logically, then, such a person falls into a state of repressed feelings, and just as it is dangerous to fall into depression and anxiety, it is also dangerous to be subjected to the long-term stress of denying one's own emotions. And not only for our psyche, but also for the physical side, which can take it away with, for example, weakened immunity.

Evidence of this can be seen, for example, in a 1997 study in which participants were shown a documentary about a serious medical procedure and had their stress reactions measured, such as heart rate, pupil dilation or constriction, or sweating. The first group was asked not to show their emotions and to act as if nothing was happening, while the second group was asked to let their feelings run free. The result was that although the first group appeared outwardly calm to cool, the physiological arousal and stress grew in the participants' bodies much more than in the people in the second group.

EXPRESSING FEELINGS IS HEALTHY

It appears that expressing real feelings and emotional expressions, in their wide range from the most joyful to the highly negative, such as crying, is far healthier for the body than programmatically suppressing them.

HOW TO AVOID TOXIC POSITIVITY

If you feel that you are a candidate for a diagnosis of toxic positivity, now is the time to do something about it.  Because you are hurting not only yourself, but also your loved ones, for whom you are not a friendly support, but just someone who is cool and above it all the time.

Just as you enjoy some situations in life, learn to give free rein to your negative feelings and their emotional manifestations. Here are some tips to help you do that:

Don't judge yourself or anyone else for expressing negative emotions.

Don't ignore your feelings, give them free rein. If someone hurts you, get angry, if someone makes you angry, yell...

Remember that sometimes not being cool is perfectly normal.

Life is varied, don't limit yourself to a wave of positive emotions.

Listen to your friends, even if they are sad or angry and you are uncomfortable. Don't try to persuade them to think positively.

Don't give any unsolicited advice.

If you suspect that social media is a big part of your toxic positivity, take a break from it for a while.

See your emotions as clues that your mind, and by extension your whole body, is trying to tell you something and point you somewhere.

Everyone needs a different amount of time to manage their emotions. Rather than pushing yourself into a feeling of "It's okay that my partner and I broke up, I'll be fine from tomorrow," treat yourself to an aroma bath, get a massage, or take other small steps that will lead to distraction and a real improvement in your mood.

If you feel you can't handle the situation on your own, talk to a therapist.